Hit it, sister….
I was feeling like total crap yesterday. I was sitting on my couch playing Draw Something. And then just like Forrest Gump, I got up and I started….
My best picture on Facebook, apparently….
Male Friend: Oh my god Stephie, there is this picture of you on Facebook and it’s just so breathtaking. It’s hands down the best picture of you I have ever seen. You are sitting in the grass with a little girl and your eyes just have this maternal look to them.
Me: Am I wearing a blue shirt?
Male Friend: YES!! YES, THAT’S THE ONE! You need to make that your profile picture.
Me: That’s my sister.
Also, they are testing LEDs in my office today and I kind of fucking want to punch something in a blinding headache rage.
To make myself feel happy again l made an emotional purchase. It worked really, really well for two days. I just really miss my friend…
I cannot concentrate today. I think I will just listen to this song on repeat and feel sorry for myself for the rest of the day….
I went on a lunch date with a guy that I have known for a few years. We met about 4 years ago in a bar and have bumped into each other a couple of times throughout the years. Sometimes on purpose but usually coincidentally. He is nice. He’s older (I’m attracted older guys, my last serious boyfriend was significantly older than I was and I can’t seem to learn from my mistakes) with a good job and not bad looking at all. It was a nice lunch. I didn’t let him pay for my lunch, I don’t know why. I think it’s one of those things that I have gradually grown weirder about over the past year and a half. My ex used to guilt-trip me about being the provider (even though he insisted) and now that I’m on my own with a good job and some money I like to have the things I have because of me, no one else. Something was missing. I had a nice time but that spark wasn’t there. I know it’s me. I know what I want. It’s not a looks thing. It’s not a good job thing. It’s not an age thing. It’s that “thing”. It’s hard to describe but I know exactly what it is. I have felt it once before and I just don’t’ think I will be truly happy or accept anything else but that “thing”. Super cheese alert: What is that thing? It’s looking in their eyes and knowing what they are saying without words. It’s laughing at nothing at all. It’s relaxation and ease. It’s breathtaking. It’s fun when no one else is having fun around you. And I know this sounds like the stuff that stupid chick flicks are made of but it’s there. It exists. And it doesn’t takes months or years to get to. It’s instant. For lack of a better word it’s just magic.