StEPH. M. L

High-res Notes: 1 6/7/12 — 11:34am Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvMxBj5k

ktwithac

asks:

Turn your replies on so I can be obnoxious and funny and amazing all at the same time all over your posts please.

Hit it, sister….

Notes: 2 5/3/12 — 2:12pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvKp55p4

I was feeling like total crap yesterday. I was sitting on my couch playing Draw Something. And then just like Forrest Gump, I got up and I started….

High-res Notes: 2 5/3/12 — 2:05pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvKp3jeW

Facebook

My best picture on Facebook, apparently….

Male Friend: Oh my god Stephie, there is this picture of you on Facebook and it’s just so breathtaking. It’s hands down the best picture of you I have ever seen. You are sitting in the grass with a little girl and your eyes just have this maternal look to them.

Me: ???

Me: Am I wearing a blue shirt?

Male Friend: YES!! YES, THAT’S THE ONE! You need to make that your profile picture.

Me: That’s my sister.

PRINT THIS POST Notes: 4 5/3/12 — 1:56pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvKp21gZ

Not-So-Smart Cover

High-res 5/3/12 — 1:51pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvKp16-_

Life : Take 1

I realize that life is something that you only get one shot at. And sometimes I hate myself for being such a wimp. Not taking the risks I see other’s taking.

I have lived in the same town my whole life. I live in a great town. Most people are actually transplants because it is such a nice place to live, work, and raise a family. I wonder if I lived in some piece of shit town if I’d have have more courage (or desire, not exactly sure what is lacking here) to pick up and go. My boss asked me if I’d be willing to relocate for my job and I said yes. Without a doubt. I’d go. Happily being pushed to make a change. I hate that I need to be “pushed” to change things about my life. I envy the go-getters that live with conviction. That have the courage to do what it takes to seek a life that makes them as happy as possible.

In January 2011, I was “pushed” (due to a break up) to live on my own and as it turns out, I’m the happiest I have ever been, ever. I often wonder if it’ll take me getting fired to actually pursue something that I love. I have never really been in a situation that once I’m in it, I can’t get thought it. I want to be courageous enough to make my own choices on my own accord versus having to be “pushed” to make a decision or waiting for someone to make my mind up for me. I really do think I am my own worst enemy when it comes to finding true happiness. And I’m really worried that I’ll end up in a mundane life because I was such a fucking pussy all the time.

Random side notes that having nothing to with this post from the author: I hate when two people stand in my cube to have a conversation that has absolutely nothing to do with me. Also, I hate signing for UPS/FedEx packages. That little machine thingy that they make you sign on grosses me the fuck out.

Happy Wednesday to all three of you!!

PRINT THIS POST Notes: 2 4/25/12 — 12:53pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvKIs1wk

Also, they are testing LEDs in my office today and I kind of fucking want to punch something in a blinding headache rage.

4/23/12 — 12:40pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvKAjLPD

To make myself feel happy again l made an emotional purchase. It worked really, really well for two days. I just really miss my friend…

Notes: 2 4/23/12 — 12:34pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvKAiJxa

I cannot concentrate today. I think I will just listen to this song on repeat and feel sorry for myself for the rest of the day….

4/19/12 — 3:39pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvJxF_YY

Is there such thing as magic or are we all fucked?

I went on a lunch date with a guy that I have known for a few years. We met about 4 years ago in a bar and have bumped into each other a couple of times throughout the years. Sometimes on purpose but usually coincidentally. He is nice. He’s older (I’m attracted older guys, my last serious boyfriend was significantly older than I was and I can’t seem to learn from my mistakes) with a good job and not bad looking at all. It was a nice lunch. I didn’t let him pay for my lunch, I don’t know why. I think it’s one of those things that I have gradually grown weirder about over the past year and a half. My ex used to guilt-trip me about being the provider (even though he insisted) and now that I’m on my own with a good job and some money I like to have the things I have because of me, no one else. Something was missing. I had a nice time but that spark wasn’t there. I know it’s me. I know what I want. It’s not a looks thing. It’s not a good job thing. It’s not an age thing. It’s that “thing”. It’s hard to describe but I know exactly what it is. I have felt it once before and I just don’t’ think I will be truly happy or accept anything else but that “thing”. Super cheese alert: What is that thing? It’s looking in their eyes and knowing what they are saying without words. It’s laughing at nothing at all. It’s relaxation and ease. It’s breathtaking. It’s fun when no one else is having fun around you. And I know this sounds like the stuff that stupid chick flicks are made of but it’s there. It exists. And it doesn’t takes months or years to get to. It’s instant. For lack of a better word it’s just magic.

PRINT THIS POST Notes: 1 4/19/12 — 2:15pm Short URL: http://tmblr.co/ZX7uYvJx0C_L