I realize that life is something that you only get one shot at. And sometimes I hate myself for being such a wimp. Not taking the risks I see other’s taking.
I have lived in the same town my whole life. I live in a great town. Most people are actually transplants because it is such a nice place to live, work, and raise a family. I wonder if I lived in some piece of shit town if I’d have have more courage (or desire, not exactly sure what is lacking here) to pick up and go. My boss asked me if I’d be willing to relocate for my job and I said yes. Without a doubt. I’d go. Happily being pushed to make a change. I hate that I need to be “pushed” to change things about my life. I envy the go-getters that live with conviction. That have the courage to do what it takes to seek a life that makes them as happy as possible.
In January 2011, I was “pushed” (due to a break up) to live on my own and as it turns out, I’m the happiest I have ever been, ever. I often wonder if it’ll take me getting fired to actually pursue something that I love. I have never really been in a situation that once I’m in it, I can’t get thought it. I want to be courageous enough to make my own choices on my own accord versus having to be “pushed” to make a decision or waiting for someone to make my mind up for me. I really do think I am my own worst enemy when it comes to finding true happiness. And I’m really worried that I’ll end up in a mundane life because I was such a fucking pussy all the time.
Random side notes that having nothing to with this post from the author: I hate when two people stand in my cube to have a conversation that has absolutely nothing to do with me. Also, I hate signing for UPS/FedEx packages. That little machine thingy that they make you sign on grosses me the fuck out.
Happy Wednesday to all three of you!!